This is a ceramic chicken. It was adopted by the Universal House of Pancakes as the official "Waker-Upper" of the troops for the current Seven-Year Plan. Perhaps because the men of the Universal House of Pancakes are in their majority city boys, they missed the fact that roosters, not chickens, are heralds of the dawn.
A quick fix is being slapped together in Haifa to keep the image of "Chickie" a potent one by transferring her qualities to the pancake line.
As soon as the news was out rumors ran rife that each House of Pancakes would be serving gravy. "Chickie will not be killed," a spokesman assured the believers. "She is still the symbol of the Baha'i standing tough against the ravenous wolves that stand to devour the slumbering flock." The mention of three animals in one sentence caused near-riots at Baha'i centers in larger cities where the vegan population is strong.
The Continental Board of Caballeros, along with the Auxiliary Grandes and their Petites, met with the newly-appointed Auxiliary Pecans to ready their arm of the Faith for action if necessary. "And it will be necessary," a source was quoted as saying. "Tell these Baha'is anything and they run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Of course some of the more dangerous personalities might object to being cooped up a while, but the Institution of the Learned is just that. I mean, we learned. We learned from the past. People need a shepherd. Once the pecking order is upset, the wolves come through the door. Ya Baha 'u'l 'Abha!"
4 comments:
Where do you think this pancake stuff is going, Donut? I think maybe they're getting ready to overextend, and it's going to dematerialize their profits. By God, Donut, it's going to hurt them! Oh, Donut, as if the Baha'is haven't been hurt enough already!
Get yourself a Schlitz, Pomfret. The thing is entirely of their doing and if they get hurt, they get hurt. That's the price of doing business. The risk. The thing I'm worried about is this overextension on the organizationals. Heavens, if they go the way they're going, they'll be appointing fetuses and digging up Aunt Betty just so they can staff the administrative posts they're creating. I hear they're creating twelve new institutions a day worldwide! You know how long that will take to cover the earth in spies and paper pushers?
No. But I think I will get back to work.
What's a Schlitz?
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