WELCOME TO THE FEAST OF QUESTIONS!

With thanks to Robert Benchley.

Now hear this!
Now hear this!
All Baha'is!
All Baha'is!
Today begins the month of ___________________.
We are not permitted to print the name of this month.
It is dangerous.
We repeat: The name of this month will hurt you.
Do not say it. Do not spell it or think about it.

If your are a Baha'i you already know everything you need to so just go to feast and keep your mouth shut.
Let the important people do the talking.

After the business portion, if there are any Baha'is of higher rank than you, walk about the room and say in a loud voice "I do not know the name of this month and I don't want to!"

In Social Portion, the Chairman will announce that Auntie Nan, who knit your kids' mittens, got your husband a job at the mill, paid her Huquq, and buried her parents yesterday, is dangerous.

Do not ask "why?" "Why" is a bad word and if the community officers hear you say it you will be called before the Local Spiritual Assembly. There you will be ridiculed, humiliated, manipulated, brainwashed and browbeaten until you say you are sorry nineteen times. After that you will be under surveillance. The Local Spiritual Assembly will hire your paperboy to peep in your windows after dark to see what color underwear you have. You had better be wearing the Chairman's favorite.

Baha'is, there is danger in this month but you need not be afraid. In four hundred years, some of the Baha'is will be mature enough to ask questions and, more importantly, handle the answers. DO NOT attempt to live those sunny days as if they were today. Baha'is ARE NOT READY. YOU ARE NOT READY. WE WILL TELL YOU WHEN YOU ARE READY. IT ISN'T NOW.