'CASUAL DAY' COMES TO MT.CARMEL

HOUSE OF PANCAKES NOTED FOR LEADERSHIP IN WORLD SARTORIAL DIVERSITY

Your reporter has learned that the Universal House of Pancakes has adopted the Western custom of raiment* days for its work week, as well as the week ends. The UHP believes that adding variety to what you have to look at across the table 24/7 will fuel alertness. This is important so the House will be able to respond quickly to calls for pancakes anywhere on the globe.

BFNS needed to know:Wasn't the "House" once the Supreme Institution, a locus of need for a world weary of war? "As we have told the press," said a spokesman, "after decades of research and fruitless projects and programs, the House learned without a doubt that people do not want peace. They want breakfast! The Universal House of Pancakes shall give them their breakfast!"

Here is the rundown:

Monday is "Free" or "Wear What You Want" Day. Anyone not wearing a suit will be sent home to get one.

Tuesdays the House meets buck naked.

Wednesdays mark Casual Day. Men wear Dockers and Ralph Laurens and no socks.

Thursday is Third World Day. Odd assortments of old running shorts, tank tops bearing logos of the industrialized world, and flip-flops are suitable attire.

Friday on MtCarmel, as everywhere else, is Ladies' Day. Everyone dresses up in his mothers' clothes, or adopt the choudra.

Saturday is Costume Day. Everyone wears their suit, because people may want to take pictures.

Sunday is Funny Hat day. An assortment of funny hats accidentally left by tourists are available on ground level, or, members may bring their own amusing chapeux. The standard House of Pancakes' Pancake Servers' Cap is not funny.The sacred "Golden Dome" hat is worn only on Baha'i holy days.

We wish the Universal House of Pancakes all the best in its ceaseless search for ways to please itself.


*Raiment. Look carefully at this word. Now pronounce it correctly.